The Sillikamushufilliobob Festival
by Kraele and Bremon
Summary: FE9. The Laguz in our favorite company can only watch as the two day festival of nonsense ensues. Slight spoilers in this chappie about two of the characters, not the plot of the game.
1. The Accusation

Disclaimer: Everything except for the festival belongs to Nintendo.

* * *

"Oscar, I need to have a word with you!"

Everyone in the Mess Tent who was in range of hearing immediately rolled their eyes as a soldier with bright, red armor, the same color as his hair, appeared through the tent flaps with long, dramatic strides. After hearing the Crimean knight trying to convince Oscar to rejoin the Crimean army after the war was over time and time again as the party moved through the Daien land on their way to the Crimean border, they had gotten pretty sick of it.

Kieran ignored the looks and continued his way through the tables to the green-haired mercenary busy in the kitchen.

Oscar looked up when Kieran was about ten feet away, smiled, and said, cheerfully, "Hello, Kieran. Have you had lunch yet?"

"Don't change the subject," The furious knight said, poking Oscar in the collarbone. "You should know very well why I'm here.

Oscar sighed and set down the tray he was carrying, "To try and make me rejoin the Crimean ranks. Look Kieran, I already said..."

The green-haired knight trailed off in shock when Kieran burst out laughing.

"Although that _is _tempting, that's not why I'm here."

Kieran smacked on a serious face and put his hands on his hips, "Word around camp is that you haven't been preparing for the Sillikamushufilliobob Festival."

The reaction in the Beorcs around the tent was immediate. People gasped and whispered frantically to each other. The only two Laguz in the tent at the moment were Prince Reyson and Janaff, who exchanged confused glances.

"The what?" Reyson asked Janaff in his lyrical voice.

Janaff shrugged and said, "Never heard of it."

The two looked up as Boyd stood up and cried, "Oscar! Is this true?"

Next to Boyd, Rolf had tears welling up in his eyes, "Brother, how could you?"

Oscar had gone very pale. He backed up against the wall of the tent, as if trying to make himself as small as possible. His squinting eyes glanced quickly around the tent.

"I-Is it today? I thought it started tonight. I..."

"You forgot when it started!" Mia yelled in disbelief.

"Oh dear..."

Reyson turned to the white-robed figure beside him. Rhys was clutching at his heart and he looked as though he were hyperventilating. "How could he have forgotten."

"It's all right, Rhys, it's alright," Titania put her arm around the healers shoulders, barely restraining her tears.

Kieran advanced on Oscar again, "Well, what have you got to say for yourself, you scoundrel."

"I-I..." Oscar was beginning to look like a cornered mouse as several people stood up and barred him from escape. "I really didn't mean to...it's just...I...How in Ashera's name did you find out!"

Reyson had had just about enough. He looked at Zihark over Janaff's light-brown hair and said, "Zihark, what is this Silli- what's-it Festival?"

The swordsman blinked out of his scandalized expression and returned the heron's gaze.

"You mean you don't know? Well, I guess you wouldn't need to. The Laguz don't celebrate like the Beorcs do."

Zihark settled back into his chair like an old man about to tell a story even when his grand kids were spreading chaos around him.

"It all started back in the days of Grand Master Filliobob the 23rd. One day, a dairy farmer came up to him, saying that a pack of wild platypuses were invading his strawberry fields and that he wanted government aid to help him be rid of the menace. Filliobob agreed to help on the stance that the strawberry farmers crops were the only ones that would be coming in that harvest because the platypuses had already struck the rest of the countryside."

Reyson blinked and nodded, but he still looked at Janaff to see if the hawk was making any sense of the story. According to the mystified look he was receiving, the hawk wasn't.

"All of the master's soldiers marched to the field, where for three two days, they gave battle to the platypuses in what is now called, the "Battle of the Platypuses."

Zihark stopped for a moment and put his hand over his heart, his eyes getting moist as if he was touched.

"The battle was fierce, but at the end, those brave, brave men were victorious. The strawberries were harvested successfully. In honor of the soldiers, every Beorc around the world celebrates the anniversary of the battle by having a two day Sillikamushufilliobob Festival of utter nonsense, and whenever someone fails to prepare accordingly, it is considered BLASPHEMY!"

At the last word, Zihark stood up and pointed at Oscar fiercely.

"Grab him!"

This exclamation was met well by every person within earshot (except for Reyson and Janaff, who were still looking very bewildered) and soon the cornered green-haired knight was overwhelmed by a surge of outraged Beorc.

When the confusion cleared, Reyson was slightly horrified to see that they had completely tied Oscar up into a green bundle and had gagged him.

"Alright, everyone outside. We must commence the purification process!" Reyson was shocked to see that it had been the company's own General Ike who had exclaimed that last.

Oscar was now looking at his captors with a mixture of apology and hopelessness written all over his face. Boyd and Brom hoisted him up, but just as the crowd was about to make it's way out of the tent, Mia cried out, pointing at Kieran, "Hold it! Isn't it customary for the condemning scumbag to be punished as well?"

The smirk that Kieran had been sporting immediately disappeared to be replaced by a look of terror. He backed up as someone screamed, "Grab him, too!"

The red-colored knight was also tied up and gagged. As the group marched out of the tent carrying their struggling charges, Ike called out over his shoulder, "And don't forget the poisonous-sea-urchin-ice-cream!

Reyson and Janaff were left alone. Janaff was the first to break the silence, "Where do you think they got sea urchins? We're nowhere near water!"

"I don't know," Reyson began, standing up, "But I want to know more about this Silly-mumaball contest...thing. It's too weird to pass up."

With that, Reyson took the hawk's arm and led him out of the tent after the crowd.

* * *

A/N: I don't know what I was thinking, really. I just really wanted to write something funny, and well... I'm sorry Oscar! I love you! Oh and you too Kieran...I guess. Pats them both on the head and gives them Twinkies. I may continue this. I've got two days of festivities to cover if you want me to, so GIVE ME FEEDBACK! 


	2. PumpkinSmashing

Afternoon came to the encampment, bringing with it cloudy skies and a light breeze. The excitement of the "purification ritual" had left everyone with soaring adrenaline and the majority of the party had stayed in the field nearby their tents in order to play a game which consisted of heating up pumpkins on the tips of swrods over a large bonfire, carrying the vegetables to a tree stump, and smashing them with hammers.

At least that's what Reyson could only conclude they were doing. The heron prince had pulled Janaff with him to watch the ritual, but afterward, the hawk had been just as equally dazed as Reyson and had complained of wanting to get some rest ("I don't really trust the Beorc like this anyway. They're acting too strange for my liking.")

So Reyson was left watching as the group finally untied Oscar and Kieran and let released them after forcing them to eat one gallon each of a strange, purplish substance that Reyson could only assume was the sea-urchin-ice-cream. After the ritual, however, the two paladins hadn't gone far from the site of their torment. Right now, they were seated beside Reyson, leaning against the padded crate that the company had allowed the heron to have so he could watch the game.

Oscar and Kieran were clutching each other and shivering so violently from the amount of ice cream in them, however, that Reyson constantly found himself listening to their conversation.

"You know this was all your fault, you rat," Kieran said through chattering teeth. "If you had just remembered, none of this would have come about."

"_My _fault? You're the one who had to accuse me in the first place," Oscar replied as heatedly as he could manage.

"I couldn't very well let you go on losing your honor like that. You may be may sworn arch rival, but I'd at least like to have some decent character in my enemy!"

"Even if it was worth having to go through the same thing I did?"

"You bet. Besides, I was able to give you a lesson on how true punishment should be taken!"

Oscar stared at Kieran incredulously, "A lesson! I wasn't the one who was crying out 'Help me, mommy!' after each spoonful!"

Kieran was obviously having trouble coming out with a crushing retort, for his face flushed with enough embarrassment and anger to make his skin the exact same hue as his crimson hair.

The heron prince could hardly contain his mirth during the interchange. Before he heard the knight's retort however, a series of loud cheers erupted from the field. Boyd was swinging his hammer around triumphantly amidst whoops and clapping from his audience. Once the cheering died down a bit and everyone took their places for Largo to have his turn, a figure separated itself from the crowd and approached Reyson. When it came closer, Reyson recognized it as the swordsman Stefan, covered in pumpkin juice and guts.

He grinned at the heron prince when he saw that he was being watched and came over to lean against the crate.

"Enjoying the game, Prince Reyson," Stefan asked, picking out pumpkin seeds from his green hair.

Impulsively, Reyson stroked his golden hair, as if promising the silky strands that he would never allow pumpkin seeds to get stuck in it, "Indeed, it's very amusing. Is it part of the Silly mooshoo festival I've been hearing about?"

"The Sillikamushufilliobob festival, and, yes, it's a part of it," Here Stefan straightened up to his full height (which meant something because Stefan was already very tall) and said in his grandest voice," The pumpkin-smashing is held to honor the tactics used by the brave men when they fought the platypuses. May they never be forgotten."

Reyson blinked, "But Stefan, aren't you...," Here the Laguz paused and looked around for a second, "...aren't you one of the branded? Part-Laguz and part-Beorc? Do you still have to celebrate?"

Stefan looked around at Reyson and tilted his head, "Of course! Well, technically I don't _have_ to, but I may as well. It's a joyful holiday, why wouldn't I want to?"

Reyson considered it. Of course, it all seemed crazy to him, but he could see Stefan's point. There were very few moments of joy in these dark times. The Beorcs had found a way to relieve the burden set upon them. The heron prince was sure that if the Laguz had discovered such a tradition, they would relish it as well.

Suddenly a loud voice, yelled, "I'm not doing this! It is pointless!"

All heads in the vicinity turned at the appearance of two struggling figures, one trying to get away and the other holding fast as it dragged it's captive to the center of the crowd. The prisoner tired for a second, allowing Reyson to recognize it as Soren, the group's tactician. Continuing to drag him along was Ike.

"Come on, Soren. It'll be fun. Besides, you don't want to have to be purified like Oscar and Kieran, do you," Ike asked, solemnly.

At the memory of the punishment, said Oscar and Kieran shivered beside where Reyson sat.

Soren looked horrified, "There is no way I will allow you to give me that nauseating substance!"

"Then come play the game! Enjoy the festivities while they last! We've only got two days," Ike exclaimed, hurrying to get a better hold on Soren when the sage renewed his struggles.

"Oi! Don't worry Ike, we'll help!"

Reyson saw Boyd and Largo run over to where Ike and Soren were; about halfway between the edge of camp and the crowd. The crowd began cheering as the three warriors overpowered Soren and took him and carried him over to the center of the field.

Stefan pushed away from Reyson's crate and grinned, "No way am I missing this."

He gestured to the heron prince. "Come on, you shouldn't miss it either."

Reyson hesitated. How much more insanity was he willing to witness. But seeing the normally grim Soren with a hammer in his hand and covered with pumpkin guts was a sight Reyson had to admit he would find amusing.

Jumping down gracefully next to Stefan, the two made their way over to the crowd just as Soren was given one of Boyd's mallets and a big, plump pumpkin was placed in front of him.

* * *

A/N: Holy crap. I'm the slowest updater in the world. I'm sure there's a horde out there who want to destroy me. I'm trying, I really am. I just need time is all.

**Reviewer's Corner (because we all love them):**

Ame Kuroda: I had fun thinking of a name for the festival. A lot of ideas came to mind (unfortunately I can't think of those alternatives at the moment), but it all came together in that one.

FlamingDoritos: First of al, I wish they would come out with doritos on fire. Second of all, more is coming.

Magebear7: It's gonna get better. Muuuuch better. (Let's out maniacal laughter as lightning flashes in the background.)


End file.
